Our Story / God's Story

I have been thinking of sharing this for a while now.  Nicole had said to me a few months ago, "I don't even know your story" ~~~ that kind of broke me a little bit. I hadn't even shared my story with my own daughter. The Bible clearly says that we are to tell of the good things the Lord has done for us to our children and their children.  

Then this morning, I had the opportunity to tell someone else part of our story, but I never do it justice.   AND I remembered I had recently found THE PICTURE, so I have added it plus some others to help show our story as well as tell it.  I hope you are blessed! 

I have many stories and many things the Lord has done in my life. I want to start with this one. This is the story of redemption. Of restoration. Of forgiveness. Of love.  This is our story.  This is, to this day, something that ONLY GOD did and is still doing. 

I wrote this for an assignment when I started back to college in April 2008. 

Husband of My Youth
Almost two years ago I married my best friend, my high school sweetheart, the love of my life and my ex-husband. I met Brian Turner on the school bus when I was 16 years old, he was 15. I thought he was the cutest boy. Over the next three years we became the best of friends, talking for hours on the phone, we had lunch together every day, always sat together on the bus, and even went on double dates. Then, he took me to my Senior Prom and that is when everything changed.

Brian and I were married September 1, 1983. In 1984 we had our daughter, Nicole Danielle, and in 1986 our son, Justin Michael, was born. Brian was in the Army and was first stationed at Fort Hood, Texas. Nicole was three months old when we packed up and moved away from our families for the first time. We thought we knew it all, but looking back we were just babies ourselves and this was quite a traumatic time in our lives. Although we thought we did, we had no idea what we were doing. 

Our divorce was final on September 11, 1990.

I moved home to Carbondale, Illinois where my family lived and attempted to put my life back on track. I enrolled in a few adult education courses, worked full time and raised my kids. Brian reenlisted in the Army and was stationed at Fort Hood, TX, Fort Drum, NY, Camp Humphreys Korea, Fulda Germany, (deployed to Saudi Arabia & Kuwait during this tour), Fort Irwin, CA, Baumholder Germany, (deployed to Kosovo, Bosnia & Albania), Fort Carson, CO, then to a Reserve training center in Salt Lake City, Utah, where he trained troops being deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, and finally back to Fort Carson where he retired from active duty in January of 2004.

Obviously our lives took very different paths and we experienced a multitude of different events. We both married other people and from his second marriage, Brian has another son, Jacob, who is now twelve years old. During these fifteen (15) years apart Brian and I barely spoke and when we did it certainly was not pleasant. His presence in our children’s lives was minimal due to his military lifestyle, his new relationship and marriage, and the strain on our own relationship. Neither of us was willing to forgive the other. We really did not know each other anymore nor did we know what was going on deep inside the other’s life. We only knew what we saw on the surface.

October 15, 2003 our daughter gave birth to the most precious gift, Rachel Elizabeth. I was completely in love with this little creature from the very first ultrasound when I saw the details of each tiny toe. I knew she was extra special and that God would use this beautiful little girl to change people’s lives.

In my overwhelming pride I was more than happy to share photos of my granddaughter and I began to include Brian in those emails. He was not as excited as I was as he wasn’t ready for the Grandpa stage. For the first time in 15 to 17 years, Brian and I went in together on a Christmas gift, a video camera, for our daughter. This led to being in the same room together to give it to her, which was quite an awkward time for all of us. After picking up my photos a few days later, there was one of Brian that I thought was amazing. He was holding Rachel and hugging her, but it was the look on his face that said it all, he loved her and there was no denying it. I sent it to him in an email and tried to tell him how much she needed him in her life and that I hoped he would be part of it. 

That moment led to more email communication between the two of us. I had no idea Brian was going through a separation & divorce when he was at my home during Christmas. 

Our emails later turned into hours and hours of instant message conversations in which we both learned that the bond we shared as young teenagers, our friendship, was still there. We talked about everything that we had been through, where we were in our lives now, the kids, our families, our experiences, the ‘whys’ of the things we did and moments that we had long wanted to share with each other. We talked about God and the things He had done in our lives, or not done. We began talking about the verse Proverbs 5:18 which says, “May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.” This became our passage and he became my HOMY, husband of my youth.

In time we talked on the phone, again for hours each night and ultimately we decided to meet in person. We didn’t tell anyone, we just met halfway. In that first moment of seeing each other every thing seemed normal and natural, just as it should be. This was the first time in 15 years we had been alone and from that point on we have been together. We remarried on September 2, 2006 with all of our children present and by the same Pastor that married us the first time.

 (Pastor Ralph explaining that he is NOT going to do this a third time, so we better make it work!)

I had prayed for years for God to send the right man into my life, one who loved Him and who would be a good husband and father to my children. A man who would love them like his own children.  Brian had been praying for years for the restoration of his family, little did he know that God was in fact restoring his family, just not the one he thought. Where our children were once missing a huge part of their lives, they are now whole. We have full custody of Jacob who is flourishing here and has a great relationship with his sister, brother and niece. Rachel is now four and a half years old and her Grandpa is such a huge part of her life, she continues to be a blessing each and every day of our lives.

God showed me that He is in control of my life and that He is taking care of me and my family. I have learned that forgiving others is not just for them and not only something that God requires us to do, but if we allow God to work in our lives, then forgiveness is something that can be much more healing for ones own heart, mind and soul. I am so blessed!

***Update, it is 2018 and we have been married 12 years.  However, we feel like God simply restored our entire marriage so we just celebrate all the years.   ALL of them.   35 years. 

 Brian and Rachel have a very special and strong bond.   He loves her unconditionally and she knows he is there for her no matter what.   She knows she is secure with him and she trusts in that.  

I love this picture of Rachel & her Grandpa.

We were leaving walmart, she just reached over and held his hand.

How many teenagers do that?

It melts me every time I look at it. 

I don't think any of us ever dreamed that Brian would be walking his daughter down the aisle.  But look at that.  God is so good, so faithful.  

The whole bunch of them!   Our hearts are overflowing!  October 2018

 Our daughter Nicole and her family.  Her husband Jason.   Rachel.   The twins! Jackson & Emma and our newest granddaughter, RyLynn.

 Our son Justin and his wife, Amanda.

 Our son Jake and his wife Skylar, and their daughter, our grand blessing #2, Jocelyn (jo)

Look at what THE LORD has done!  US with all five of our grand blessings! 

 Our Girl.   Yes, you could say she is special to us.

New Beginnings

The Lord has been dealing with me for quite some time now on some things. I have been pushing them aside and going on with my own self. I haven't gotten very far. The past couple of weeks have been a little intense for me, but as I surrendered yesterday to His plans, despite my questions, my nerves, my fears, and my concerns, I began to feel a peace come over me.  

So I am handing this all over to the Lord and letting Him handle it. Letting Him use me as He wants.  I thought I knew the plan, but I was wrong. I was lost the last couple of years, but I have been found. Colossians 3:15 says "and let the peace of God rule in your hearts" ~ that is how I felt last night. At peace.

So, ..... here we go.

Follow along if you want to. If you don't, that is fine to!

For years I have said I was going to be a writer. Since High School actually. My friend and I wrote a book during study hall one year. We threw it away.

When I lived in Paducah, a dear friend gave me a pen and a beautiful journal inscribed with the words, "here, write your story." I never did.

My husband often asks me, "when are you going to write your book?" I shake my head and go in another room.

Last year another friend gave me a set of pens, pencils and a journal along with a note and a prayer. She said, "because the world needs more of your words."

I don't know about that. I used it for note taking in church.

Someone else suggested blogging. I thought about it. Often. Every time I thought I would start, I would see a post that someone had started a blog. Everyone blogs. I put it aside. I tell myself no one cares what I have to say.

Since my husband and I moved here a little over two years ago, I knew God had something in store for me. I didn't know what it was. He began speaking to me in new ways, giving me stories. I was busy and didn't write them down. I was angry and didn't want to. I stuffed it all inside. There is a lot in there, a lot that He is bringing out. Buckle up is all i can say.

As I get ready to post this, my first blog, I am shaking incredibly all over. I feel a little sick. I despise public speaking. But God. But God wants to use me, to use my life, to use my words, my abilities that He gave me to do something. To uplift someone. To help someone. To do some good. I don't know what the outcome will be, but He does. So, I leave this all to Him and say Your will be done Lord.  

Deborah